Better scene than heard

Film script scenes are the cells of which the body of the screenplay is made.

That means all scenes need metabolise vital stuff, just like biological cells do. In the case of a film script scene, the vital stuff is one of two things. It’s either emotion or information.

The plot of the screenplay progresses and flexes via the exchange of information. John and Jane meet. John tells Jane he’s in love with someone else. Things change in a big way. The information exchanged in the scene pertains to John’s love for someone else. The thing is, Jane didn’t know. So Jane is plenty upset now. So information in screenplays pertains to film script character emotion, too. Where information is exchanged, emotion tends to follow. Change is the result. Maybe Jane punches John in the face and phones someone she has the secret hots for. Jane and the hot person meet, and sparks fly. John finds out and gets jealous. He realises he’s made a mistake. In reaction to Jane’s new relationship, he realises the other person he left Jane for isn’t right for him. So maybe he asks Jane to take him back. She says no. Depending on the genre of your screenplay, John either kills Jane’s new lover, kills Jane, kills himself, or none of the above. If it’s a rom-com, he does cute stuff and says cute things that eventually win Jane back, or help him move on in life, enriched by the mistake he made in losing Jane.

So here’s the connection between information and emotion. That connection is the plot.

A FILM SCREENPLAY PLOT IS WHERE EMOTION MEETS INFORMATION.

Information and emotion are traded and revealed in screenplay scenes.

If a scene doesn’t trade and reveal or foreshadow vital information or emotion that will cause major change, even global change, get rid of the screenplay scene. It is metabolising nothing. It is therefore a needless burden on the production budget of the scene. If you are writing a spec script, write a screenplay that can be shot on a low budget. This will help you to pitch it, package it, and sell it.

How will you let producers and agents and talented people know what the projected production budget of the film project you have sketched out with your screenplay is? You write the film budget in your pitching document. I can send you examples of pitching documents that contain a budget estimate plus a pitch line, script length and form (feature film or episode) information, and of course a logline.

Remember this: a pitch line isn’t the same as a logline. A logline contains more specifics than a pitch. A pitch for a screenplay might be remarkably obscure, even funnily so. A pitch line can be more abstract. A logline pitches the reader, but contains a bit more info about what goes on and where.

The logline for the 1st (4th) Star Wars film on IMDb – so likely not the logline George Lucas dreamed up long, long ago – is

‘Luke Skywalker joins forces with a Jedi Knight, a cocky pilot, a Wookiee and two droids to save the galaxy from the Empire's world-destroying battle station, while also attempting to rescue Princess Leia from the mysterious Darth Vader.’

This logline contains names, which some don’t. You can do either. Just keep the wordcount down, and make sure you generate the reader’s interest – even passion.

Here’s the logline for LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE, which I think works well:

‘A family determined to get their young daughter into the finals of a beauty pageant take a cross-country trip in their VW bus.’    

It’s succinct. No names are named. It tells us the bare bones of the film story. I like it.

If asked, however,, I would change it to create

‘A family determined to get their young daughter to a beauty pageant endure a road trip in their deadbeat bus.’

Notice I have used the word ‘endure’ to suggest what goes on as the family travels. Only part of what needs to be endured is their transport. I have used the adjective ‘deadbeat’ to suggest the likelihood that the van itself (the plot vessel) is in bad shape and may break down. A van breakdown is, of course, a problem; and plots usually benefit from lots of problems. Problems give protagonists things to overcome as individuals. If problems are overcome by more than one person (a family), those people and their relationships are put under pressure by the problems that will cause change.

Shifts in character and relationships cause plot shifts.

‘Screw the beauty pageant, dad!’

So now how does dad react to that? Right.

The scene that contains such a beat definitely warrants its inclusion in the screenplay. It’s a huge swerve caused by increasing tension that creates more tension, and further strains strained relationships.

And the beauty pageant is why they are all enduring this darn trip anyway! Or is it? Maybe not. Maybe mum and dad ACTUALLY (inner motivation) want to prove their dedication to their children and each other and thus their quality as parents and as humans. Making their kinda plain daughter realise that she's beautiful because beauty isn't skin deep will also be top of their subconscious list of motivations.

AS A SCREENWRITER, THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS WHERE YOU LIVE.

So: omit screenplay scenes that don’t earn their inclusion in your script. Be ruthless. If a scene you’ve written would be expensive to shoot, omit it, or find a way to make it cheaper to shoot - unless you’re a bigtime screenwriter screenwriting for Ridley Scott. Ask: is the scene absolutely vital?

If the screenplay scene contains vital information and emotion, put those things in a scene that is easier on the film shooting budget. Ace screenwriter that you are, you’ll find a way to do it, believe me.

Making scenes cheaper to shoot and making them do more work re the plot and thus the story is something I can help you with by doctoring your screenplay. So feel free to get in touch to enquire about my script doctoring and screenplay development services.

See you on the far side.